Q&A with Matt
Hello, Matt is it? if that is your name then I have a few questions in which to ask you down below.
I have been feeling down ever since my pet mouse Stewart died a few months ago - it felt like losing a child which I raised for two years, that mouse meant more than the world to me... - and I was wondering... do you have any ideas on how to cheer a person like me up?
Also my teacher keeps on scolding me and i don't know what I've done wrong - what do I DOOOOOOOOOO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Plus do you have any ideas on getting out of wearing shoes (when not at school) or have an idea on something
else to wear?
And that my friend is all the questions I have to ask - Ben (age 12)
I have been feeling down ever since my pet mouse Stewart died a few months ago - it felt like losing a child which I raised for two years, that mouse meant more than the world to me... - and I was wondering... do you have any ideas on how to cheer a person like me up?
Also my teacher keeps on scolding me and i don't know what I've done wrong - what do I DOOOOOOOOOO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Plus do you have any ideas on getting out of wearing shoes (when not at school) or have an idea on something
else to wear?
And that my friend is all the questions I have to ask - Ben (age 12)
Hi Ben,
I'm really sorry to hear about the passing of Stewart. One thing that helped me as a child when I lost my pet was to get another animal that I could love. They would never take Stewart's place but it would make you happy again. I have had mice, rabbits, fish and hermit crabs when I was your age and they were all great pets. Talk to your mum and dad about how you feel and the possibility of getting a new pet, I really think this is the best option.
I think the best thing to do about your teacher is to talk to your mum and dad about what the teacher is saying to you. Your parents need to speak to your teacher and try and sort out the situation and let her know that you don't like it when she gets angry at you and that it upsets you at times.
You didn't say why you don't like wearing shoes. I hated wearing thongs as a child because I could never keep them on but
you might be able to wear them. Try and work out what it is about shoes you hate most. If they are lace up shoes like sneakers or school shoes than perhaps there being tied up to tightly. You could put on slip on shoes that don't have any laces or you could try two pair of socks on so you don't feel the pressure of the shoes as much.
A good pair of shoes to wear that might be easy to get use too around the house is, slip on ugg boots or slippers.
You do need to wear shoes though. They protect your feet when nothing else will. You just need to find a pair of shoes that you
like wearing.
The things that I didn't like when I was your age, I can now deal with.
If you have any other questions please write to me again.
Matt.
I'm really sorry to hear about the passing of Stewart. One thing that helped me as a child when I lost my pet was to get another animal that I could love. They would never take Stewart's place but it would make you happy again. I have had mice, rabbits, fish and hermit crabs when I was your age and they were all great pets. Talk to your mum and dad about how you feel and the possibility of getting a new pet, I really think this is the best option.
I think the best thing to do about your teacher is to talk to your mum and dad about what the teacher is saying to you. Your parents need to speak to your teacher and try and sort out the situation and let her know that you don't like it when she gets angry at you and that it upsets you at times.
You didn't say why you don't like wearing shoes. I hated wearing thongs as a child because I could never keep them on but
you might be able to wear them. Try and work out what it is about shoes you hate most. If they are lace up shoes like sneakers or school shoes than perhaps there being tied up to tightly. You could put on slip on shoes that don't have any laces or you could try two pair of socks on so you don't feel the pressure of the shoes as much.
A good pair of shoes to wear that might be easy to get use too around the house is, slip on ugg boots or slippers.
You do need to wear shoes though. They protect your feet when nothing else will. You just need to find a pair of shoes that you
like wearing.
The things that I didn't like when I was your age, I can now deal with.
If you have any other questions please write to me again.
Matt.
Hi Matt
I’m really concerned about our son who has started highschool this year. He seems to have just zoned out and completely given up on making friends. He was in mainstream term 1 but has now been placed in a unit at the high school for emotionally disturbed kids. He is the only Year 7 student, the others are Year 9 and 10 and one of them literally told me (on the way to the uniform shop) that the group unanimously hated my son. My son takes himself to the library for all break times. All he is interested in is reading fantasy and Minecraft. We have a review meeting coming up and I am trying to research other HS options but I know that his problems wont disappear just because he moves schools and I’m worried that if I move him to another school, he will go through the same rejection which may compound his feelings of isolation. I should add that the school did a psych assess on him in term 1 and he is above average for reading and comprehension but that he is in the lowest percentiles for working memory and processing speed-which make remembering things short term and maths trying for him. He has the most beautiful expressive language but fine motor/gross motor difficulties make him avoid written work. This is mostly why they wanted him in the unit – to get him to do work as in mainstream he zones out and just reads a book instead of doing work persistently. I am desperate for someone to tell me what is the right thing to do to help my son. He is such a beautiful boy but I’m worried that this constant escape into fantasy world in either books or computers is masquerading underlying depression. Please advise. Mary
I’m really concerned about our son who has started highschool this year. He seems to have just zoned out and completely given up on making friends. He was in mainstream term 1 but has now been placed in a unit at the high school for emotionally disturbed kids. He is the only Year 7 student, the others are Year 9 and 10 and one of them literally told me (on the way to the uniform shop) that the group unanimously hated my son. My son takes himself to the library for all break times. All he is interested in is reading fantasy and Minecraft. We have a review meeting coming up and I am trying to research other HS options but I know that his problems wont disappear just because he moves schools and I’m worried that if I move him to another school, he will go through the same rejection which may compound his feelings of isolation. I should add that the school did a psych assess on him in term 1 and he is above average for reading and comprehension but that he is in the lowest percentiles for working memory and processing speed-which make remembering things short term and maths trying for him. He has the most beautiful expressive language but fine motor/gross motor difficulties make him avoid written work. This is mostly why they wanted him in the unit – to get him to do work as in mainstream he zones out and just reads a book instead of doing work persistently. I am desperate for someone to tell me what is the right thing to do to help my son. He is such a beautiful boy but I’m worried that this constant escape into fantasy world in either books or computers is masquerading underlying depression. Please advise. Mary
It sounds to me that the school didn’t really persevere or help your son when he was in mainstream classes.I struggled a lot when I first started high school. It took me a good 12 months to get used to the changes once I was at high school.There is so much going on when you start at a new school.I think placing him in the class he is currently in will hinder your son rather than help him. The fact that they are also older than your son does not help. Children on the spectrum are more immature and mentally younger than peers their own age, so placing him in a classroom with older kids is not going to help him socially. For the school to give your son only 1 term in mainstream classes and expect everything to go smoothly without a problem is unrealistic.
If he is struggling with his fine and gross motor skills, providing him with a laptop would possibly help him until his fine motor skills improve enough for him to be confident enough to do the work.
Also putting him in the class that he is in now will not help his concentration/memory problems and most likely stresses him
out more, due to being put with kids that are hard to control.It also affects his social skills and makes it harder for him to make
friends.Since his major struggle is his fine and gross motor skills than I see there may be no need for him to be in that class. His fine and gross motor skills can be improved with Occupational therapy but in the meantime, the school should and can be flexible in the way they teach or the way he is allowed to do things.
I myself, have a shocking short term memory and was not able to process things very well if at all. Maths was my weakest
subject and still is. It's because I couldn’t retain any information when in class because it was just too much information.One on one with a teachers-aide helped a lot or perhaps taking him aside by himself at times for reading tuition/maths tuition would help.Fish oil (which has helped me) and/or acupuncture (which I am undertaking at the moment) can help with short term memory.
What could also be a reason he didn’t do his work could be that the information during class is too much for him to take in and if he also has to write notes at the same time, it becomes very daunting and it’s just easier to give up, which I did many times. That’s when a teachers-aide can come in and help with note taking or even if the teachers give him the notes before class starts to assist him.
I wouldn’t worry about him going to the library and reading fantasy. It is probably the best thing for your son at this time. It's a quiet place that’s peaceful unlike his classroom is, I’m sure.Once he starts to make friends he may gradually stop doing
this in his own time.
When I was in primary school the school psychologist took me out of class for testing without my teacher's knowledge and
without my mother's knowledge.He rang my mum that night and told her my IQ was extremely low and I should be moved to a special school.My teacher and mum were very angry as they disagreed with him.I had been under a psychologist for some years that assessed my IQ as normal.My mum brought this psychologist into the situation and he sorted it out by writing a letter to the school stating that my IQ was normal and that the tests that this school psychologist had used were actually out dated.
So, from my experience an independent assessment of your son is very important by a psychologist specialising in autism who could also assess whether or not he is in depression. If he is in depression the school should be made aware of this.
A school should never question the advice of an independent psychologist or any medical professional for that matter.The support of a psychologist carries a huge amount of weight in regards to the treatment of your son from our experience.When mum had difficulty dealing with the school in situations such as this she usually sought advice from the professional people I was seeing and have them relay their advice to the school.This always brought positive results.
If he is struggling with his fine and gross motor skills, providing him with a laptop would possibly help him until his fine motor skills improve enough for him to be confident enough to do the work.
Also putting him in the class that he is in now will not help his concentration/memory problems and most likely stresses him
out more, due to being put with kids that are hard to control.It also affects his social skills and makes it harder for him to make
friends.Since his major struggle is his fine and gross motor skills than I see there may be no need for him to be in that class. His fine and gross motor skills can be improved with Occupational therapy but in the meantime, the school should and can be flexible in the way they teach or the way he is allowed to do things.
I myself, have a shocking short term memory and was not able to process things very well if at all. Maths was my weakest
subject and still is. It's because I couldn’t retain any information when in class because it was just too much information.One on one with a teachers-aide helped a lot or perhaps taking him aside by himself at times for reading tuition/maths tuition would help.Fish oil (which has helped me) and/or acupuncture (which I am undertaking at the moment) can help with short term memory.
What could also be a reason he didn’t do his work could be that the information during class is too much for him to take in and if he also has to write notes at the same time, it becomes very daunting and it’s just easier to give up, which I did many times. That’s when a teachers-aide can come in and help with note taking or even if the teachers give him the notes before class starts to assist him.
I wouldn’t worry about him going to the library and reading fantasy. It is probably the best thing for your son at this time. It's a quiet place that’s peaceful unlike his classroom is, I’m sure.Once he starts to make friends he may gradually stop doing
this in his own time.
When I was in primary school the school psychologist took me out of class for testing without my teacher's knowledge and
without my mother's knowledge.He rang my mum that night and told her my IQ was extremely low and I should be moved to a special school.My teacher and mum were very angry as they disagreed with him.I had been under a psychologist for some years that assessed my IQ as normal.My mum brought this psychologist into the situation and he sorted it out by writing a letter to the school stating that my IQ was normal and that the tests that this school psychologist had used were actually out dated.
So, from my experience an independent assessment of your son is very important by a psychologist specialising in autism who could also assess whether or not he is in depression. If he is in depression the school should be made aware of this.
A school should never question the advice of an independent psychologist or any medical professional for that matter.The support of a psychologist carries a huge amount of weight in regards to the treatment of your son from our experience.When mum had difficulty dealing with the school in situations such as this she usually sought advice from the professional people I was seeing and have them relay their advice to the school.This always brought positive results.
Did you have issues with decreased appetite when you grew up? My son has been on Dexamphetamine for ADHD for 2 years and we struggle to get any weight on him. He appears to have no appetite and is increasingly fussy about what he will eat, making preparing his lunch for school a nightmare! Do you have any ideas that could help?
Kathy
Kathy
I did have issues with a decreased appetite when I grew up and even now, due to a few things. The first is due to my severe reflux, the second would have been due to the anti-depressants I was on where a side-effect is loss of appetite and the third reason would have been due to my lack of vitamins and minerals in my body and once I started getting help for that, my appetite
improved.
The only ideas that I think may help, is seeing you doctor who put your son on the ADHD drug and see causes side effects that will affect you sons appetite and/or weight. If nothing comes from that, maybe go and get your son's vitamins and minerals
checked. But ultimately I wouldn't be surprised if the tablet was causing all those problems for you.
improved.
The only ideas that I think may help, is seeing you doctor who put your son on the ADHD drug and see causes side effects that will affect you sons appetite and/or weight. If nothing comes from that, maybe go and get your son's vitamins and minerals
checked. But ultimately I wouldn't be surprised if the tablet was causing all those problems for you.
"I have 2 daughters with Asperger's/hfa. One is 23 and still at home. Do u live at home? Do u know any hfa’s (high Functioning autism / aspies) with post-grad qualifications?"
Alison
Alison
I do still live at home. I don't personally know any High functioning autistic people with post-grad qualification/s.
I do - very successful people - Steve
I do - very successful people - Steve
Matt, my son is 8 years old and understands he is a bit different, he knows the word Aspie & Aspergers. You commented previously you were comfortable with telling people you were an Aspie if you felt the situation warranted. How did you phrase that when you were younger in the school playground or classroom and how did other children react? Did you mind your Mum speaking about ASD to other people while you were present?
To give a brief background, my son has recently been diagnosed, unfortunately he has had a gruelling time at school, bullied by other boys (and parents!) and lack of understanding, support and empathy from the school teachers. We are moving to another school for the start of year 4 and I am working on some social stories, picture cards and role play to help him make a good impression from day 1. I’d like us both to have a short phrase/sentence we can use in conversation if required. My son isn’t bothered by me talking to people about it, however his class teacher one day took me aside and berated me for ‘discussing Ethan’s issues openly with her in front of my son. Surely this just encourages the bad behaviour and highlights he is different’. I know she doesn’t ‘get it’ but then I think maybe there is a better way for me to explain?
Thanks for sharing your insights!
Alex
To give a brief background, my son has recently been diagnosed, unfortunately he has had a gruelling time at school, bullied by other boys (and parents!) and lack of understanding, support and empathy from the school teachers. We are moving to another school for the start of year 4 and I am working on some social stories, picture cards and role play to help him make a good impression from day 1. I’d like us both to have a short phrase/sentence we can use in conversation if required. My son isn’t bothered by me talking to people about it, however his class teacher one day took me aside and berated me for ‘discussing Ethan’s issues openly with her in front of my son. Surely this just encourages the bad behaviour and highlights he is different’. I know she doesn’t ‘get it’ but then I think maybe there is a better way for me to explain?
Thanks for sharing your insights!
Alex
I never told other students in my whole schooling life that I had Aspergers. I never saw a need for it and I have no doubt that it would have made the bullying worse. You are not going to get any sympathy or understanding from children and they will only see it as something that makes him more different, ammo for bullying. The only people that knew at my schools were adults who had to know i.e. Principal, teachers, teachers-aid.
My mum only really spoke about the Aspergers in front of me to practitioners. When I was younger, my mum did discuss my Aspergers with one of her friends (in front of me) and I didn't like this because I thought it was my private information, it was irrelevant to who I am, and people shouldn't judge me on it. I want to be the one to tell people if I chose too, not anyone else. I
want to make sure the person will not judge me or act differently around me (which has happened). I did not want to be labelled or known as the ASD kid or the kid with “problems”. It's irrelevant to peers and their parents. I don't think you should focus on explaining how your son is different, or explaining him to anyone. If they judge him it's only because they have no understanding of ASD. Their opinion shouldn't matter. The idea of having to explain himself is very negative, which is bad for his self esteem and he will learn that what people think of him and his problems are important, when they are not. I think it's important to teach any child whether they have ASD or not, that everyone is different, and have both weaknesses and strengths. He is just as good as everyone else. Play up his strengths, as confidence means a lot! The great thing about having ASD is that we are very good at one specific thing which people who don't have ASD aren't.
I also had a teacher that didn't understand and as much as my mum or the school tried to explain it to her, she just never understood it. Unfortunately this sometimes happens. Having said that, I do agree with the teacher that you shouldn't discuss his ASD in front of him. By having an adult conversation in front of him you confuse him, highlight his weaknesses and make
him feel more different. You don't want to label him with ASD.
I think it's most important to work on the difficult behaviour he displays to help with your son's initial impression, as well as creating stories, showing him picture cards and role play. A psychologist can help you and your son deal with his behaviour, which can be the cause of bullying. They can monitor stress levels and any other concerns you have. But it also gives you a place to talk and voice your concerns and frustrations in private. I started seeing one when I was first diagnosed at 5 and it was the most beneficial service I received during my childhood/teen years.
My mum only really spoke about the Aspergers in front of me to practitioners. When I was younger, my mum did discuss my Aspergers with one of her friends (in front of me) and I didn't like this because I thought it was my private information, it was irrelevant to who I am, and people shouldn't judge me on it. I want to be the one to tell people if I chose too, not anyone else. I
want to make sure the person will not judge me or act differently around me (which has happened). I did not want to be labelled or known as the ASD kid or the kid with “problems”. It's irrelevant to peers and their parents. I don't think you should focus on explaining how your son is different, or explaining him to anyone. If they judge him it's only because they have no understanding of ASD. Their opinion shouldn't matter. The idea of having to explain himself is very negative, which is bad for his self esteem and he will learn that what people think of him and his problems are important, when they are not. I think it's important to teach any child whether they have ASD or not, that everyone is different, and have both weaknesses and strengths. He is just as good as everyone else. Play up his strengths, as confidence means a lot! The great thing about having ASD is that we are very good at one specific thing which people who don't have ASD aren't.
I also had a teacher that didn't understand and as much as my mum or the school tried to explain it to her, she just never understood it. Unfortunately this sometimes happens. Having said that, I do agree with the teacher that you shouldn't discuss his ASD in front of him. By having an adult conversation in front of him you confuse him, highlight his weaknesses and make
him feel more different. You don't want to label him with ASD.
I think it's most important to work on the difficult behaviour he displays to help with your son's initial impression, as well as creating stories, showing him picture cards and role play. A psychologist can help you and your son deal with his behaviour, which can be the cause of bullying. They can monitor stress levels and any other concerns you have. But it also gives you a place to talk and voice your concerns and frustrations in private. I started seeing one when I was first diagnosed at 5 and it was the most beneficial service I received during my childhood/teen years.
My name is Robert, I am 13 and I have Asperger's, and one of my biggest problem is feeling tired and mentally fatigued. No medical diagnoses up to now. My mum told me that you also suffer fatigue, do you have a medical diagnosis? And what advice do you have for me?
I do have fatigue and have had it all my life. We originally put it down to my insomnia but after I got medication for my insomnia (Melatonin) the fatigue problems persisted which has been very bad at times and I wanted answers, as you do.
I do not have a medical diagnosis. Doctors have always put it down to my lack of sleep or “its just the way you are”.
I was told by my Occupational therapist that it is common for people with autism/aspergers to have fatigue problems, physically and mentally. She put me onto Dr John Criticos (http://www.doctoralia.com.au/healthpro/john+criticos-11583234) who practises at Marrickville and Dr Antony Underwood who practises at Pymble Grove ( http://pymblegrove.com/). (Dr Criticos bulk-bills and Dr Underwood doesn't). They are GP's that specialise in bio-medicine and also deal with autistic/aspergers kids/teenagers.
I saw Dr Criticos and he said fatigue is common for people who have aspergers because they can't absorb vitamins and minerals probably. He did blood tests to see what my vitamins and mineral levels were and they were very low, particularly zinc which is apparently vital to the body because it helps absorb all the other nutrients. It is apparently common for autistics to be low in zinc. I was put onto compound medication to help boost my vitamins and mineral levels. It took a while, but it eventually reduced my fatigue levels by at least 70%. I suggest you go see one of these doctors.
I do also suggest to keep yourself consistently active but don't exhaust yourself. Stick to the same times you go to bed and the time you wake up. Routine with sleep patterns help.
I do not have a medical diagnosis. Doctors have always put it down to my lack of sleep or “its just the way you are”.
I was told by my Occupational therapist that it is common for people with autism/aspergers to have fatigue problems, physically and mentally. She put me onto Dr John Criticos (http://www.doctoralia.com.au/healthpro/john+criticos-11583234) who practises at Marrickville and Dr Antony Underwood who practises at Pymble Grove ( http://pymblegrove.com/). (Dr Criticos bulk-bills and Dr Underwood doesn't). They are GP's that specialise in bio-medicine and also deal with autistic/aspergers kids/teenagers.
I saw Dr Criticos and he said fatigue is common for people who have aspergers because they can't absorb vitamins and minerals probably. He did blood tests to see what my vitamins and mineral levels were and they were very low, particularly zinc which is apparently vital to the body because it helps absorb all the other nutrients. It is apparently common for autistics to be low in zinc. I was put onto compound medication to help boost my vitamins and mineral levels. It took a while, but it eventually reduced my fatigue levels by at least 70%. I suggest you go see one of these doctors.
I do also suggest to keep yourself consistently active but don't exhaust yourself. Stick to the same times you go to bed and the time you wake up. Routine with sleep patterns help.
My 8 year old son suffers from severe anxiety. Did you have anxiety issues as a child, if so did they get worse in your teen years, how did you deal with it, and is my son too young to see a psychologist?
Sonia
Sonia
I did suffer from anxiety when I was a young child. It did unfortunately get worse when I was in my teens. As a child quiet time (no noise, dark, no one around, etc) helped me a lot in de-stressing. Relaxation methods (eg. Reiki healing - http://www.reikiaustralia.com.au/Home) also helped with teaching me how to de-stress. I did go on anti-depressants for a few years but I don't think they were truly beneficial to me. (I do suggest if your son does go on them, that you do a lot of research on anti-depressants due to a lot of them have bad side-affects)
You can never be too young in my opinion to see a psychologist. I started seeing mine when I was 5 years old. The benefit of seeing a psychologist is that they can monitor the stress levels and try and find the origin of the stress. They can also determine when the stress can become dangerous to your son. What truly got me through my anxiety was age and maturity
You can never be too young in my opinion to see a psychologist. I started seeing mine when I was 5 years old. The benefit of seeing a psychologist is that they can monitor the stress levels and try and find the origin of the stress. They can also determine when the stress can become dangerous to your son. What truly got me through my anxiety was age and maturity
We recently told our children that we would be getting divorced. We did our best to express it all to them in a way they would understand and that obviously it didn't change how much we love them. Our 9 year old ASD child resonded with, "I feel like I want to cry, but I won't". That was a few weeks ago. The other night, during a period he was upset about something else, he started to voice various complaints, including, "I should be able to vote on if you can divorce!" It really worries me about how he might react once we are separated.This is a difficult time for me but I am greatly worried about the impact on my intelligemt, high functioning autsitic son (as well obvioulsy on his younger sister). I would like to hear anyone else's thoughts on how to handle this period, or what issues or problems you dealt with or how your child deals with your divorce now.
I was 9 years old when my parents divorced. It was a very rough time for all of us. But for kids it’s extremely hard. Kids don't see their parents as two different people; they see them as one person, one unit. How can they split? Kids usually always blame themselves for the divorce. It is not much different a situation for an Aspergers / autistic child as for anyone else, in my opinion.
When my parents divorced I acted up, was upset about it and went into my own shell (which I came out of in my own time).
For me, I think it was more the fact that things were going to change and I didn't know what changes were going to happen and when it was going to happen. The thing that got to me the most was changing houses. This was very unsettling.
When we moved into my new house I became quite aggressive for a while. It would certainly help to show your children (especially your son) your new home.
Divorce involves a lot of changes. The less changes you can make for your son the better. But don't ever underestimate his ability to cope. A lot of times my mum says I cope better than my sister with certain events. When I was a kid I may of not been able to read or recognised facial expressions but I could tell when people were stressed, so the more stressed you become the more stressed your kids will be. The one thing that helped me was being able to talk it through with my psychologist and my mum.
When my parents divorced I acted up, was upset about it and went into my own shell (which I came out of in my own time).
For me, I think it was more the fact that things were going to change and I didn't know what changes were going to happen and when it was going to happen. The thing that got to me the most was changing houses. This was very unsettling.
When we moved into my new house I became quite aggressive for a while. It would certainly help to show your children (especially your son) your new home.
Divorce involves a lot of changes. The less changes you can make for your son the better. But don't ever underestimate his ability to cope. A lot of times my mum says I cope better than my sister with certain events. When I was a kid I may of not been able to read or recognised facial expressions but I could tell when people were stressed, so the more stressed you become the more stressed your kids will be. The one thing that helped me was being able to talk it through with my psychologist and my mum.
What were your sleeping patterns as a child?
I have insomnia. So I would only generally get 1-3hrs of sleep a night. This was until year 7-8 when I was put on Melatonin.
You can buy it in tablet form, but I recommend liquid form that's made by a compound pharmacy. It's a lot more pure and works quicker. Does take a little while to kick in but it's what saved me. I have also found that you can wean yourself off it to not use as much or end up not having to use it at all and being able to sleep without it. You just need a script from a paediatrician.
A few things that kept me entertained when I didn't sleep were: a tv in my room, which some people say stimulates you and
keeps you awake longer, but if you have insomnia you're already fully awake anyway, reading helped, “find a word”books, “Where's Wally” books, listening to music, movies, playstation, puzzles, etc. They all helped keep me entertained without me waking everyone else.
You can buy it in tablet form, but I recommend liquid form that's made by a compound pharmacy. It's a lot more pure and works quicker. Does take a little while to kick in but it's what saved me. I have also found that you can wean yourself off it to not use as much or end up not having to use it at all and being able to sleep without it. You just need a script from a paediatrician.
A few things that kept me entertained when I didn't sleep were: a tv in my room, which some people say stimulates you and
keeps you awake longer, but if you have insomnia you're already fully awake anyway, reading helped, “find a word”books, “Where's Wally” books, listening to music, movies, playstation, puzzles, etc. They all helped keep me entertained without me waking everyone else.
Did you use to “tune out” whenever you wanted when you were younger? What happens when you “tune out”?
Up until maybe year 10, I use to be able to tune out, as I got older it happened less , but as a child it happened constantly. I went into the Sleep Clinic which picked up that I was putting myself into a trance when I “tuned out”.
From my experience, when I tuned out it was because I was under stress and that was the only way to escape. It could have
been anything from too much lighting, noise, things going on, too many people, etc. Or I did it because I was bored (which happened more as I became a teenager). When I'd tune out, I couldn't see and hear anything. If my eyes were looking at something/someone I wouldn't be able to see it or them, it would just be a blur. I wouldn't hear anything, it would just be totally silent. I never really thought about anything when I did either, it was more that I wanted to get away from where I was.
I have heard of instances where some kids /adults who have aspergers/autism can tune out but can still hear what's going on. Just depends on your child.
As I got older it happened less and less and I haven't done it in a number of years.
Up until maybe year 10, I use to be able to tune out, as I got older it happened less , but as a child it happened constantly. I went into the Sleep Clinic which picked up that I was putting myself into a trance when I “tuned out”.
From my experience, when I tuned out it was because I was under stress and that was the only way to escape. It could have
been anything from too much lighting, noise, things going on, too many people, etc. Or I did it because I was bored (which happened more as I became a teenager). When I'd tune out, I couldn't see and hear anything. If my eyes were looking at something/someone I wouldn't be able to see it or them, it would just be a blur. I wouldn't hear anything, it would just be totally silent. I never really thought about anything when I did either, it was more that I wanted to get away from where I was.
I have heard of instances where some kids /adults who have aspergers/autism can tune out but can still hear what's going on. Just depends on your child.
As I got older it happened less and less and I haven't done it in a number of years.
How was your communication when you were young (5years old). Did you undergo any speech therapy to improve?
I never spoke that much when I was young, I didn't start saying words till I was 2-3yrs old. I did speech therapy for a number of years which helped a lot.
I never spoke that much when I was young, I didn't start saying words till I was 2-3yrs old. I did speech therapy for a number of years which helped a lot.
How did you deal with the transition between going from primary to high school? What can you recommend to help kids get past that traumatic period?
Going from primary to high school is very hard. Its usually 10x the size of the primary they attended therefore a lot more people are there. Changing area of where you go, new format of how things are done, you go from the oldest in the school in primary to the shortest and youngest in high school, one class to numerous classes, different teachers for each subject, etc. It's a lot to take in.
What helped me was going to the high school once a week for a couple of hours with a teachers' aide, when I was in year 6, which was organised by my primary school. I started going about term 3. The aim of it was so I would get used to the school, meet the teachers, show me different areas around the school and how to get around the school – I found that extremely helpful in my transition. It was stressful in the beginning but after a little while I preferred it a lot more than primary.
Remember that some of your kids might not be able to read what emotions are on your face but we can still sense if you're stressed, so if you're stressed were stressed.
Going from primary to high school is very hard. Its usually 10x the size of the primary they attended therefore a lot more people are there. Changing area of where you go, new format of how things are done, you go from the oldest in the school in primary to the shortest and youngest in high school, one class to numerous classes, different teachers for each subject, etc. It's a lot to take in.
What helped me was going to the high school once a week for a couple of hours with a teachers' aide, when I was in year 6, which was organised by my primary school. I started going about term 3. The aim of it was so I would get used to the school, meet the teachers, show me different areas around the school and how to get around the school – I found that extremely helpful in my transition. It was stressful in the beginning but after a little while I preferred it a lot more than primary.
Remember that some of your kids might not be able to read what emotions are on your face but we can still sense if you're stressed, so if you're stressed were stressed.
Do you tell people you meet that you are an Aspie or do you feel they would judge you through ignorance?
It all depends on the situation. If I feel they should know or it would be beneficial to them, or me, then I would. Some of my high school friends and friends I have made after school still do not know I have aspergers, just because there is no positive reason why they should know. If people want to judge, they can, it doesn't bother me, but that realisation took a while for me to learn.
It all depends on the situation. If I feel they should know or it would be beneficial to them, or me, then I would. Some of my high school friends and friends I have made after school still do not know I have aspergers, just because there is no positive reason why they should know. If people want to judge, they can, it doesn't bother me, but that realisation took a while for me to learn.
Have you ever felt that someone was unfair to you because they didn't understand autism?
There has been a few people, like doctors, who I felt misunderstood me and my problems. My mum has told me that when she sought a diagnosis from doctors she was told that she had the problem. Bullying – I believe a lot of the bullying came from the fact that I was autistic and therefore different to the majority of kids. Throughout my schooling I’ve had teachers that never seemed to grip what Aspergers was and continued to do things that I didn't like, even after being asked to
stop. They also thought bullying was “part of growing up” and never did anything about it. Bullying is hard for any kid but for a kid with Aspergers syndrome they take it a lot harder and don't know how react to it.
There has been a few people, like doctors, who I felt misunderstood me and my problems. My mum has told me that when she sought a diagnosis from doctors she was told that she had the problem. Bullying – I believe a lot of the bullying came from the fact that I was autistic and therefore different to the majority of kids. Throughout my schooling I’ve had teachers that never seemed to grip what Aspergers was and continued to do things that I didn't like, even after being asked to
stop. They also thought bullying was “part of growing up” and never did anything about it. Bullying is hard for any kid but for a kid with Aspergers syndrome they take it a lot harder and don't know how react to it.
Did you find it easy getting your driver's licence or did you feel there were obstacles in the way due to being an Aspie?
It was certainly challenging. It seemed a lot easier for other people to learn, compared to me. The obstacles I encountered when learning to drive were trying to learn how to do everything at once. eg steering, accelerating, braking, blinkers, staying in my lane, wipers, other drivers, etc. I was taught by professional instructors at Royal Rehab. They taught me one thing at a time and then gradually introduced me to the next thing. I felt it was the best way for me to go. Firstly I was assessed to see if I was capable of driving at all (by professionals that assess people with physical and mental disabilities). After deciding that I had the ability to learn to drive, it was then they decided on how many lessons I should do with them (whether 10hrs or the whole 120hrs). I was reassessed after 20 hours and it was decided I could continue my lessons privately. I did so, but went back occasionally to the Royal Rehab for reassessment.
http://www.royalrehab.com.au/services.html#driving
It was certainly challenging. It seemed a lot easier for other people to learn, compared to me. The obstacles I encountered when learning to drive were trying to learn how to do everything at once. eg steering, accelerating, braking, blinkers, staying in my lane, wipers, other drivers, etc. I was taught by professional instructors at Royal Rehab. They taught me one thing at a time and then gradually introduced me to the next thing. I felt it was the best way for me to go. Firstly I was assessed to see if I was capable of driving at all (by professionals that assess people with physical and mental disabilities). After deciding that I had the ability to learn to drive, it was then they decided on how many lessons I should do with them (whether 10hrs or the whole 120hrs). I was reassessed after 20 hours and it was decided I could continue my lessons privately. I did so, but went back occasionally to the Royal Rehab for reassessment.
http://www.royalrehab.com.au/services.html#driving
Is there a Neurotypical behaviour that you find difficult to understand?
As a kid definitely – certain expressions on people faces confused me. But now there isn't any behaviour that I don't understand.
As a kid definitely – certain expressions on people faces confused me. But now there isn't any behaviour that I don't understand.
When did you first get a job and how did you cope with it?
I've never done paid work, but have done plenty of work placement/work experience. For me it was the best. I loved it because I was out of a school where I was not so good and I was able to do something practical which I loved and was good at. This gave me confidence.
I've never done paid work, but have done plenty of work placement/work experience. For me it was the best. I loved it because I was out of a school where I was not so good and I was able to do something practical which I loved and was good at. This gave me confidence.
Does it get easier for you as you get older?
No doubt did it get easier for me as I got older. I think understanding autism and myself makes life a lot easier.
No doubt did it get easier for me as I got older. I think understanding autism and myself makes life a lot easier.
Did you get many knockbacks when you were first looking for work?
I have never had knockbacks when asking for work placement. I've actually had 3 different restaurants ask me if I wanted a job, but I've had to knock them back due to my fatigue or because I wanted to do more study.
I have never had knockbacks when asking for work placement. I've actually had 3 different restaurants ask me if I wanted a job, but I've had to knock them back due to my fatigue or because I wanted to do more study.
How did you handle public toilets growing up? Toilets at school also?
I hated public toilets and I still do. I never went to the toilet in primary/high school unless I desperately needed to go. I think for me it was due to the horrible smell and because I'm over-sensitive. Not many other kids used the school toilets either to my knowledge (including my twin sister) for the same reason. I use public toilets more now than I did even 3 years ago.
I hated public toilets and I still do. I never went to the toilet in primary/high school unless I desperately needed to go. I think for me it was due to the horrible smell and because I'm over-sensitive. Not many other kids used the school toilets either to my knowledge (including my twin sister) for the same reason. I use public toilets more now than I did even 3 years ago.
Have you had difficulty finding a job?
The only difficulty I have had is because of my fatigue. I am almost always tired so I find it hard to do a long day. Therefore I wouldn’t be able to do 50hrs a week to complete my apprenticeship. I will need a job that's no more than 30hrs a week. Which I’m trying to find at the moment.
The only difficulty I have had is because of my fatigue. I am almost always tired so I find it hard to do a long day. Therefore I wouldn’t be able to do 50hrs a week to complete my apprenticeship. I will need a job that's no more than 30hrs a week. Which I’m trying to find at the moment.
How do your relatives (cousins etc) treat you now and when you were growing up?
I don't feel that my relatives have ever treated me differently either when I was young, or now.
I don't feel that my relatives have ever treated me differently either when I was young, or now.
Do you make friends in the work environment?
Making friends for me now is easy whether its in a work environment or not.
What do you like most about having Aspergers?
Due to me being over-sensitive in all respects I am lucky enough to have great taste-buds. Which does help with becoming a chef.
What do you dislike most about having Aspergers?
When I was young I have to say it would be the lack of understanding. By this I mean me not being able to understand certain words, what people actually mean and not understanding facial expressions.
The thing I dislike now about aspergers is being slower in understanding theory-based information. Other people seem to understand it straight away but it always takes me longer to actually grip what is being said.
Making friends for me now is easy whether its in a work environment or not.
What do you like most about having Aspergers?
Due to me being over-sensitive in all respects I am lucky enough to have great taste-buds. Which does help with becoming a chef.
What do you dislike most about having Aspergers?
When I was young I have to say it would be the lack of understanding. By this I mean me not being able to understand certain words, what people actually mean and not understanding facial expressions.
The thing I dislike now about aspergers is being slower in understanding theory-based information. Other people seem to understand it straight away but it always takes me longer to actually grip what is being said.
Were you treated well by other kids at school or were you bullied?
Through primary and high school I had a close group of friends which I still have today. However, I did experience bullying all the way through schooling.
What can I do to help my child avoid getting picked on at school?
If you feel that your child's behaviour is what is perhaps attracting the attention then helping him to change the behaviour can have an impact. Unfortunately, you have no control over what other people say and do. What you can change and control however is how you react and respond to it. It is important to point out that if you react negatively to the bullying you will get a response and it will continue. Tell him to walk away or just walk towards a teacher. Try and get across to him that these horrible people are not worth worrying about and it will cease. I also learnt over time not to stress over people I never liked anyway who were causing me grief. I learnt this about year 10. What I think is also important is that the parent report the bullying to the school and ask for feedback on what is being done about the situation but keeping it on the down low if the child is in high school.
Did you have friends when you were at school?
In primary I had very limited friends. I had 2 friends originally and got 3 more as I got closer to year 6. Once I was at high school and became a lot more social my group of friends grew. By the time I left high school I had a close group of friends but also had a number of other friends in other groups.
Did you get depressed in your teen years and if so how did you deal with it?
I did have depression in my teens. I was still under the same psychologist that diagnosed me when I was 5 and he would help me talk things out and help change my thinking so that I would feel better about things. He also referred me to a psychiatrist who put me on anti-depressant medication. What ultimately helped me was growing up and maturing. I became more independent and learnt to cope better.
Is there something I can tell my teenage son to help him get over his depression at being different?
I was also aware that some of my behaviour was different to my peers and felt I was very different to them in general. One of the ways we treated my depression was to change these behaviours that made me different. Once I stopped doing some of these weird things, I stopped being different and feeling different, aiding my depression. Without my psychologist this would not have been possible, and I also feel that talking to a psychologist was very helpful because he also taught me positive ways of thinking about myself and my differences.
I just want to point out that my responses stem from my experiences dealing with aspergers syndrome. I am not a psychologist. From my experience, what ultimately helped me and got me over the depression was growing up and maturing thus realising that everyone is unique and that is what makes them who they are.
Through primary and high school I had a close group of friends which I still have today. However, I did experience bullying all the way through schooling.
What can I do to help my child avoid getting picked on at school?
If you feel that your child's behaviour is what is perhaps attracting the attention then helping him to change the behaviour can have an impact. Unfortunately, you have no control over what other people say and do. What you can change and control however is how you react and respond to it. It is important to point out that if you react negatively to the bullying you will get a response and it will continue. Tell him to walk away or just walk towards a teacher. Try and get across to him that these horrible people are not worth worrying about and it will cease. I also learnt over time not to stress over people I never liked anyway who were causing me grief. I learnt this about year 10. What I think is also important is that the parent report the bullying to the school and ask for feedback on what is being done about the situation but keeping it on the down low if the child is in high school.
Did you have friends when you were at school?
In primary I had very limited friends. I had 2 friends originally and got 3 more as I got closer to year 6. Once I was at high school and became a lot more social my group of friends grew. By the time I left high school I had a close group of friends but also had a number of other friends in other groups.
Did you get depressed in your teen years and if so how did you deal with it?
I did have depression in my teens. I was still under the same psychologist that diagnosed me when I was 5 and he would help me talk things out and help change my thinking so that I would feel better about things. He also referred me to a psychiatrist who put me on anti-depressant medication. What ultimately helped me was growing up and maturing. I became more independent and learnt to cope better.
Is there something I can tell my teenage son to help him get over his depression at being different?
I was also aware that some of my behaviour was different to my peers and felt I was very different to them in general. One of the ways we treated my depression was to change these behaviours that made me different. Once I stopped doing some of these weird things, I stopped being different and feeling different, aiding my depression. Without my psychologist this would not have been possible, and I also feel that talking to a psychologist was very helpful because he also taught me positive ways of thinking about myself and my differences.
I just want to point out that my responses stem from my experiences dealing with aspergers syndrome. I am not a psychologist. From my experience, what ultimately helped me and got me over the depression was growing up and maturing thus realising that everyone is unique and that is what makes them who they are.
What Early Intervention you received do you think has helped you most?
No doubt in my mind, was having a child psychologist that understands autism. He understood me and explained things simply to me and it was the best thing that happened to me early on but he was as important when I was growing up as he was when I was young. Now he has become a friend but also a mentor to me and my mum.
No doubt in my mind, was having a child psychologist that understands autism. He understood me and explained things simply to me and it was the best thing that happened to me early on but he was as important when I was growing up as he was when I was young. Now he has become a friend but also a mentor to me and my mum.
How old were you when your mum explained your condition to you and how did learning this affect you?
My mum or I don't remember a specific time when she explained that I had Aspergers syndrome. I do remember that I knew I had it by mid to late primary school due to having a teachers aide. I will say that my mum has always been very open about it and we talk about it just like we would talk about having the flu, ie. it was never a big deal.
I never really gripped the fact that I had it till maybe yr 7 and by the time I realised I had it, it was insignificant due to that fact we were so open about it at home.
My mum or I don't remember a specific time when she explained that I had Aspergers syndrome. I do remember that I knew I had it by mid to late primary school due to having a teachers aide. I will say that my mum has always been very open about it and we talk about it just like we would talk about having the flu, ie. it was never a big deal.
I never really gripped the fact that I had it till maybe yr 7 and by the time I realised I had it, it was insignificant due to that fact we were so open about it at home.
DISCLAIMER
This website is for the purpose of providing families with options in their local community. We have no commercial interest in any of the services or products shown here and present them only as options for parents to consider and decide for themselves. Information provided by Matt is based on his own thoughts and experiences in the hope of providing helpful insight. We have made every effort to maintain up to date and correct information but urge every user of this site to only use it as a guide and do their own research before deciding on any course of action.
This website is for the purpose of providing families with options in their local community. We have no commercial interest in any of the services or products shown here and present them only as options for parents to consider and decide for themselves. Information provided by Matt is based on his own thoughts and experiences in the hope of providing helpful insight. We have made every effort to maintain up to date and correct information but urge every user of this site to only use it as a guide and do their own research before deciding on any course of action.
